Why I Quit My Online Business (and went spiritual)

Transcript

Benjamin: 0:02

Lovely people, this video has been long due and there have been many moments that I've tried to record this video. But every time I just felt deep down that the timing was not right. However today I finally feel ready to share this with you guys And the past six months have been an incredible journey, an introspective journey, a spiritual journey. And in this video, I will explain to you guys why I decided to go on this calling, why I decided to take six months off of social media and why I ended up deciding to quit my 100k per month online business. And at the end of this video, I will also share with you guys what's next for me and what my new business will be about now to try to fit everything I learned into one youtube video would be a little bit too much wouldn't do I think all the learnings that I've had any honor. And so this will become more of a series of videos that you guys can expect me creating in the next weeks and months, where I just will be sharing all these learnings with you guys. Now, this video is more about A bigger picture and introduction. I will share with you guys how I got to this point, how I got to this calling, what this calling was about. Some of the most profound insights I got. And as I said, at the end, I will also tell you about my new business. Now, I think a perfect starting point for this video is actually telling you guys how I got here and how I got to this calling of not working at all or almost doing no work. Really taking my time off social media and yeah, at the end, deciding to quit a very successful business that was making 100 K per month. So let's dive in. How did I get here? Now, how all this started was about three and a half years ago when I started Money Matrix. And Money Matrix was an online business in which I helped people achieve financial freedom in the special and transitioning times we are at. It was my first really successful online business I made more than 1 million euros in under two years And so for me, this was A crazy experience a roller coaster. I've never made that much money before through work And thus, I just realized a massive quantum leap into my own financial situation in that period. Not only into my own financial situation we were also really tired of what was happening in Belgium, macroeconomic, geopolitical. We really wanted to get out. We really wanted to become completely location independent. We wanted to stop paying super high taxes. And so this was really what that journey. The past three years really about is escaping the matrix. We were actually scared of everything that was going on in Europe in general. And so a lot of it was fear based. And we really wanted to get out and escape from that, escape the matrix, break free from the matrix. And this is what we did. And this is An amazing achievement. Me and my fiance, we, we really did that. We built financial freedom. We built freedom of movement. And we really live a completely different life right now at this present date. And that's also one of the things that is changing all this for us. Now as I said, in this journey, in this search for a new home, we were traveling through more than 10 countries. We lived in 65 places in just three years, I think, even less than two and a half years. And so this was super chaotic, super intense amazing, super enriching, a very cool experience. But I think you can imagine that it was also a very tiring one, a very heavy one. And this is something we only started to realize when we found a new home here in the jungle in Panama and really we're able to land and grow some roots again. And so we are super happy about that. But of course, this whole transition, this whole phase, it just completely changes. And it really gave us a quantum leap in, in almost all areas of life in a positive way. Now, what happened is that my business itself or what my business was about, it didn't really evolve with me as a person, or it didn't evolve as fast as me as a person. And this is where the trouble started. And at first I was like completely unaware of it some, but I felt like something was in misalignment and something was eating at me. And I tried to solve all these things, with strategies and tactics I tried to solve this things outside of me, but it just didn't work. It just didn't solve any of the problems. And the reason was that I was clinging on to my baby, as I said, it really propelled me into my dream life my online business, it was making me a lot of money. But I was clinging onto it. I built some very unhealthy relationships to making that money through my business. And so this was one of the main reasons that my business wasn't evolving with me as a person. Now, I made many mistakes in my online business. I think I made every mistake possible in my online business, but I'm grateful for that because I really see that now and I can use those learnings going forward and helping other peoples which will be an essential part of what I'm going to do next. Now there were a couple of questions that were really giving me a hard time and that was, how can I create more impact? Then I also was struggling or wrestling with the question, like how can my own growth become an essential and ever growing, evergreen part of my online business? How can my business and my own personal growth always stick together without having the troubles and the problems that I was having of just having made a quantum leap. And what I was offering within my business was just something that I myself couldn't relate to anymore. And finally something that was also really bothering me was that at some point I felt like. I was becoming more of a marketeer than an entrepreneur who was really serving his people. And I see this thing happen to so many coaches and mentors or people in the online education space who Become or fall victim to the algorithms or through marketing tactics or through attachments to money and kind of built their business as a marketeer instead of a servant for their people. And this is something I will be talking about a lot more. Also something I will be taking into what I will be doing next. But this is something that I really see happening all the time these days. And I think it's time to change that. And so these were the different kinds of problems that were really eating at me. And I didn't find a good answer for it. And I was looking for answers, as I already mentioned, in strategies and tactics, in how to structure and model my business, in how to build a team that could take care of some of the problems for me. But all those things weren't giving me any answers. And it got to a point that I suddenly realized that I was looking for answers outside of me, I was looking for external solutions. While the real answer and the real problems were not outside of me, they were inside of me. And this was what really put me on this spiritual path. Let's say it's about eight months ago that I became aware of that and that I started to build the bravery to let go of my old business, to let go of those attachments to making a lot of money every month. And to all those problems that I was having in was almost unhealthy relationships with my own business and really had to bravery to step into this calling of letting go and just see what lies beyond that. And so that was what happened. And so I started to question myself again. And I started to question what I was doing. I started to question everything. And one of the questions I asked myself in that process was What am I really good at? And what do I want to do going forward? And this is also when one of my spiritual mentors showed up here. The way I met him was like, really not a coincidence. I really started to go inside myself again and start asking these questions. What I came up with was that I was actually pretty good and a expert in creating my own reality. I was not necessarily a financial expert or an expert in investing or all these kinds of stuff, things I was teaching, but I was actually an expert in creating my own reality and not only creating my own reality, mastering it, but also a master in carving out a path towards those dreams. And figuring out how to get from point A to point B. Another realization that I had was that I'm a very mission driven person. I really believe in myself, I have some core truths. I really believe that humanity is at a crossroads. We are in transitioning times where our expansion as humanity is really propelling into new heights. And this is something I really feel, that I really know to be true. And I also really know that I really want to do something with that. And I really want to help other people with that as well. Now I did all these exercises with my mentor, and finally we got to this. This is my mission, my soul mission to teach others how to create their dream life by listening to their heart, expanding their consciousness and connecting to the purity of their essence. Now, at first, this purity of essence was purity of nature. But I didn't really understand yet what that meant and going much deeper into this whole journey. I actually discovered that nature was just representing our feminine divinity and really the essence of what you are, the source inside of you. And thus it was all about connecting to your essence. And it's also what I've been going through in the past six months, really trying to connect to my own true essence. And once you do that a lot of the veil gets lifted and a lot of the programming that has happened inside of you because of living inside of the distortion or inside of the matrix, everything becomes so clear. So let's dive a little bit deeper into some of the most profound insights I've had in this past six months. One of the major and one of the first big insights I got was about fear and how fear was My driving force, my fuel and what my whole life was built upon in the time before I started with this calling. And so also my business was based upon it. And of course you can imagine that having a business that's based on fear is not Really the best foundation for building a business upon. But it went much deeper than that. And it wasn't only about being fearful for everything that was going on macro economical or geopolitical, that kind of stuff, but it went much deeper. I really discovered that fear was my basic modus operandi, fear, and scarcity. And with one of my mentors, we did an exercise called'path of greatness'. And again, I will be speaking much more about this stuff in next videos. And this is also what my new business will be about, but it's actually like going deeper into major decisions in your life and really trying to figure out where these decisions stem from and what is the basic emotion or the basic intention, the basic energy that was surrounding this decision and I just discovered that was basically fear and scarcity and this is not something that is applicable only to me. 99 percent of the people they make their decisions based on fear programming. And so This was a major realization And money matrix, my last business with me as a fear programmed being was the epitome of that, and it was actually a superpower fear served me as a superpower. It was fear showing me how powerful it can be. It was really my fuel and I did amazing. I used fear to break free from a fear based system. I used fear to create financial freedom. I used fear to create freedom of movement. So fear was my superpower. However, and this was the big insight, what I was feeling or what I was getting aware of but was very unaware of in the beginning. But this was the misalignment that was happening in my life Was actually that fear was no longer serving me going forward. So I got out of it what I needed to step into my new calling, But it would not bring me any further. And that was such a beautiful and powerful realization. I saw that much of my life was centered around my ego and seeking approval. One of the concepts that I was introduced to was the difference between true north and magnetic north. And true north is your true calling. It's your true soul mission. It's why your soul is truly here in this realm. And magnetic north is what society projects us to be success or what society projects us to be a smart journey or a smart path to follow. And of course many of us found out that what society is telling us how to be successful or to be happy is not what actually can ever bring us this fulfillment or this happiness or this true success. And really coming to the conclusion that this was how I was working. And if I wanted to go any further, I really needed to start doing things from another intention, from another energy, and definitely from a completely new modus operandi. A major business realization that I had through that insight was that. My income was dependent on those who weren't free from that fear based programming or that matrix. My freedom was basically for a part dependent on the people who weren't free. And so this was something that was, it was really colliding, it was really, that was a true misalignment. And so I had to do something about that. And I started to understand that there is a deeper energetic exchange going on than just money. It's not just me Selling a course or a program and receiving money. And that's the energetic exchange. No, it goes much deeper into that and this was also the feeling of burnout that I was starting to get aware of is that the Energetic exchange was just not right. And so this was all tied together. Fear was also causing me to be a quite a ego driven entrepreneur because it was really me looking for approval within that old system, within the fear based programming, even though money matrix was all about escaping from that fear based programming and detaching from it, it's still got created from that very ego driven energy. And so going forward, I discovered that, I don't want to be an ego driven entrepreneur. I really want to be a service driven entrepreneur. I really want to be able to help people and to focus not on my personal results, but I really want to focus on the results that I can bring into other people's lives. I don't want to be a marketeer. No, I want to be a value driven service based entrepreneur that is actually Changing things that is actually making impact. That is actually causing this ripple effect throughout human consciousness. The second big insight I got was all about having to create enough space and time in my life in order to make All these realizations and in order to be able to go forward. And what I mean by that is, we all know what the rat race is. Many of us have been part of it or maybe still are a part of it, but in this rat race or in this system, there's simply no time and no space to really sit with yourself, to really contemplate on things, to really feel, to surrender, to let things happen, to connect with your feminine divinity. And this is something that was also lacking with me. And I created like major amounts of freedom in the past years. And this was really the first time landing here in Panama, finding a home again in which I felt that the calling really was there and the urge to really surrender to that calling was so strong that I just needed to do it and I just needed to surrender. And instead of always operating from this mindset of doing things and being productive and very rational, from a masculine energy, I decided to turn that around and to just let my monkey mind go crazy and just surrender. And instead of doing all the time, just being all the time, and this was a major shift. Now, of course, one, you need the freedom to do that. Not everybody has that. So that is a luxury you first need to build for yourself in order to be able to do that. But secondly, even if you have that luxury there's a certain amount of bravery needed to actually do that. To actually, Be able to trust in something bigger than yourselves to trust into source and to surrender to that especially For me personally in my situation being able to make 100k a month and then just boom from one day or another deciding To basically not make that much more money anymore That was like a very difficult thing to do, but I just saw that was something I really just needed to trust. I felt that I needed to do that. And this is also one of the main reasons that I actually learned and remembered all these things. And then I was actually able to connect to my essence. Something that is impossible inside of the matrix or inside of the distortions because there's simply no time to connect to your essence and no space for that. The next insight is about me seeing this pattern of going through my life by burning bridges and not that that is necessarily a bad thing, but really doing it in a way without getting real closure. I've had many different businesses. And I learned, I didn't really succeed many of the times that I left my old business behind doing it in a good or positive way. And I really just didn't find any closure in that. And this time I really wanted to do it different. So instead of just burning the bridge, which was my normal way of doing these types of things. ending a business and starting a new one. I just really wanted to take the time to make this decision very rationally, but also emotionally in the right way. And just really having the time to let this process happen on itself without me pushing it based on some childish emotional behavior. And I think this was actually the universe or life just bringing me the same lesson again and again. And I think I now completed the lesson by ending money matrix in a good way, in a beautiful way, in a way I really feel good about. And it was very difficult. This was for me, the most difficult business ever to really say goodbye to. And so in the beginning it was a very negative experience. This is something that I also discovered going through this process that it was just a shame to having a very negative ending with this business because it has brought me so much. And by now I'm after really doing this the right way. By working out with my mentors by doing actual rituals and ceremonies around it and really going deep into that process I'm super grateful for money matrix to have Given me what it has given me and so this was something I really had to go to and to learn like how do I Stop from burning these bridges without it stopping me from stepping into something new and better, but doing it in a way that I can find true closure instead of going through this repeated cycle in my life. Another very impactful insight for me in this process was that I actually discovered that there's a lot of patterns and behaviors and limiting beliefs and scarcity and fear that is still present inside of myself. Or a lot of that was still present inside of myself. And what do I mean by that? Is that you can build your dream life, but there's a big difference between building it and creating it and realizing it and then actually living it. Because you can create it and I've created it and I've built my dream life. I'm here. However, a big part of you still comes from that old world and that old system, which brings certain behaviors. And so it was a really big challenge to zoom in on those and really figuring out like, what are those behaviors? What are those patterns that are actually keeping me from stepping into this more abundant way of living, more peaceful way of living, more loving way of living, a way of living that is based in trust and surrendering instead of this. fear based, scarcity based, limiting beliefs based way of living. And so really trying to find out all these these patterns that belong into the old, asking yourself why it is that way and trying to dissolve that and really stepping into a new version of yourself. This was actually quite challenging. It's something I'm still working on every day, but it's just so interesting to see how deep the distortions are really go into your own persona and into your own being. Next up and this is an important one another very impactful insight and what I did with it was that I really started to question looking at where I was getting my information from. And the past three and a half years, that put me on this journey Or that put me on the journey of breaking free from the matrix, which was actually the phase before this phase. Yeah, there were so many interesting and super intelligent people I started following in whose information I started consuming on how the world works and what was happening in and what to do about it. And this became basically my job to really follow up on this information on a daily basis. And at some point I just started questioning okay, all these people I'm following, these are interesting people, they have interesting information, but how are they living and not everybody was showing how they were living, but most of them. If I was really honest, I wouldn't want to live like them. And so I really started questioning okay, all this information I'm getting from these people, is it actually serving me? Is all the information that is Almost all of it fear based and that belongs inside of the distortions and inside of the matrix and it's about All this bad stuff that is happening. How is it serving me? How is it serving me standing here into my own dream life? Having created my own new bubble super happy not touched by any of that stuff. Why the hell am I still consuming that information? and so This is also the point where I just unsubscribed from a lot of stuff. I stopped looking at Twitter, which is for that kind of information, the most toxic place you can be basically, and this just again, created so much more space and time for me to really deep dive into my own journey into myself. And this is actually something I would really recommend you guys, if you watch this as well, like really question, like the information you're getting on a daily basis, and most of us are getting it through social media question is this information really serving me? Is this new information or is this the same old information just in a new package being recycled over and over again? And the person who is delivering this information to me, how is this person living? Is this somebody I look up to? Aside from his intellect and for me, it was just really clear that there was like a lot of people I should just stop following or just wouldn't spend my attention on anymore. And this really helped me in creating just a much, much better life and a life where fear and all this scarcity and all this ending of the world just doesn't really have a place anymore. And it doesn't need to have a place anymore because I unplugged myself from that stuff. I unplugged myself from the distortions and from the matrix and from the fear based programming. So why on earth would I be needing to get that information here into my new life? Makes absolutely no sense. So I really cut that at some point. And this has served me amazing. And the interesting thing is that the moments that type of information comes to me right now it doesn't, affect me emotionally anymore. But what I do notice is how energy draining it is. It's really an attack on your energy and your focus. And so I'm not affected by the fear of it anymore, but I do notice like, what a bad energetic exchange it is. And so that's again, one of the main reasons I decided to cut that. And I would suggest doing the same to be honest. And then the final insight, and this was by far the most profound insight I've had is that it's not about learning, but it's about remembering and it's about remembering who you are. And I'm, I don't want to pretend I'm an expert in this. But I did do a lot of work on this in the past six months, and I really remembered who I was. And I'm still in the midst of this process, but I went through a lot of exercises, a lot of ceremonies, a lot of spiritual work, together with my mentors here. And what I discovered was that my feminine divinity, my feminine energy, my feminine part, has been basically neglected her whole life. I've neglected her whole life, basically living inside of the distortion because the matrix is about disconnection. And so that was one part. And on the other hand, my masculine divinity, my masculine side, my masculine energy, it was just exhausted because of the past years. I was just feeding and feeding it with tasks and things to do. And it was just continuously in this mode of doing, being productive, escaping from the matrix and this fear and all these things that I explained in this video. And so it was just completely exhausted and I just didn't honor it for the infinite potential creative force it is. And so this was also a part of my journey was like discovering what exactly this essence means for me and what exactly it is. And I did some exercises. I will share some of that stuff later on in other videos, but I did some exercises to really get to the bottom of what my feminine divinity is. And for the feminine side, the word that it showed me was'comfort'. And for the masculine side, for my masculine divinity it was'infinite potential creative force'. And in the beginning this was just weird, I didn't really know what to do with it, but sitting with it, contemplating with it, seeing how these things played out in me and in my life it just all started to make sense. And this was a wonderful, it's not a discovery, but a wonderful remembrance of my true essence of my core of my soul of who and what I really am. And this is something that I'm now taking again, moving forward into this new venture. But this was, I, But this was without a doubt the most powerful realization I've had and again, still trying to discover what this exactly means and how I should use this knowledge going forward. And in the end, this is all about love. This is all about growing from fear, which is. the disconnection from that essence to love, which is the connection with this essence, which is the being in love, which is the frequency of that essence in which you can continuously be. And that's what it's all about. It's not as easy as it sounds to really establish this. And again, I'm not going to say I'm there yet, or I'm an expert in this, but I do feel this is going to become the core of me going forward and also the core of my work and I think this is just the core of what's happening You know humanity is just in this transitioning time in which we are really expanding our consciousness and in which we are really transitioning from this Fear based programming of society towards a society that acts or has its fundaments in love, in trust, in abundance. And this is really what I want to help establish and what I want to help grow. So bringing all this together, I really had to realign myself. I had to learn to let go of this unhealthy attachment I had grown to money and It's funny because my freedom was based on an attachment to making money. And so for me, the challenge really was about letting go of that attachment and trusting that the capacity to let go is where a much more powerful freedom actually lies. And so I was really scared of letting go of money matrix because I saw it as such a big potential, but because I discovered That my essence is about this infinite potential creative force that I have. It's not money matrix. It's me that holds the potential, it's me, that's the creative force. And so the point right now is just to build something new that is no longer in its essence, based on fear, but in love and an abundance, and really using my own potential in steering that, in growing that, To become something much more powerful than just an amount of money each month on my bank account, something that is very valuable for humankind. The business itself is just a vehicle through which I can distribute my own infinite potential creative force. And this is something that I also want to be helping others do because this can create such an amazing impact and such a ripple effect throughout society and throughout human consciousness. So I came to the core of what my business and me being an entrepreneur really is for me. And that's all about a vehicle for self actualization, a vehicle for self discovery in one part. And at the same time, My business is the vehicle for distributing that throughout humanity and helping humanity grow, helping humanities consciousness expand. So what is very important for me going forward is the simple fact that my own growth, my own learnings can stay very close together to what my business is actually about. And that this is actually a cycle of me always going deeper, expanding, learning more things. And instead of getting stuck inside of the business because me and my business are growing apart or there's a distance I want the other way around while we really can stick together and allowing my business to really be able to serve Me and others at its highest capacity. So how? And this is what I want to help people with going forward and how that would actually look like is simply making a lot of money without working too hard. And at the same time, creating a massive amount of white space in your own life. In order to fulfill your soul mission, in order to be able to do that self discovery and that self and really using your business as a way of distributing that to humanity. Now, what's next? I think I already said it but what I'm doing now in creating this new business is really getting a group of people together who really resonate with this stuff and who really want to go through that same kind of process, not with me telling them what exactly to do, but more as a steward for that space in order to really help each other. And the interesting thing is that when I noticed what I learned and what I now really understand on a deeper level is that most of my clients so far, they always say. When I asked them what is your dream? What is your dream life? They always have this dream about a very simple life, a life without stress, a life somewhere surrounded by nature where they can just relax and just be instead of doing all the time, instead of running in this hamster wheel of the matrix all the time. And what I came to understand here, and which was also applicable to my situation is that. The reason behind it, the deeper layer behind that is it is that people simply are disconnected from their true essence and this craving for nature just represents that and thus. It is really about reestablishing connection with your true essence and going from there. That is what I really learned here. And this is also what I want to try to help people with going forward, building a better life, building a better business. As I said, this is the first video in a series of videos. I know I talked about a lot of stuff and I really look forward going much deeper. I hope you enjoyed it and I'd love to see you in my next video. Ciao.